there isn’t room enough in our hearts for other people’s pain. i see it all around me. i see it in me. all the time, people levy their pain alone. we don’t make eye contact, we get awkward, and we deny the true severity of the ache inside of others. we have a friend that recently lost her mother to a stroke. she said our culture doesn’t know how to grieve. she is right, we don’t. there is a death, a service, and maybe a week later someone sends a fruit salad tritely trying to mend the bullet hole left inside her heart. in our world there is no room for all that is ruining the souls of those surrounding us. i so often succumb to excuse myself from entering the sadness. i am busy, i am a mom, i am a working mom, i am tired, i am cleaning, i am checking off my list, i am not the one to be there, not me, not right now.
i’ve seen the grief that makes souls soar and i’ve seen the grief that swallows. i have a friend who isolates her pain, she feels it alone and fears to burden anyone with all that she bares. it was one swift conversation with her spouse, her life left in shock, prickly pieces of pain everywhere. i have a friend who has run from her pain like it was the plague. and by how far she has run you would think she was a marathon medalist. i have a friend, single mom to three. even with all the pain, she said she wouldn’t wish it away. her pain moved her to pray. her pain moved her to see God. i have a friend who lost his 19 day old son to a birth defect on Christmas eve and i read today that his own liver is failing him, again. he says his pain is merely a gift to see the glory of God. i think this is brave. i think this is simply glorious.
how do we make room for the grieving, for those in pain. answer: we make room. it is that simple. we make space. i know it is scary. i know we feel the pressure to fix their problems. i know seeing someone’s pain means feeling your own. it isn’t always pretty and sometimes the ugly cry comes out, but it is love. it is love when we make room, make home for the hurting, pour a cup of coffee, and share space. sacred space.
my sweet friend, ashley, made this log candle holder for me! you read that correctly, M-A-D-E. amazing, right! i told her to start a business, pronto.
who will be the first buyer?!?! it might be me. i want one for every table in our house!
at this point your thinking, “wow, how does a mother of 3 have time to create such a pretty table display!?!?!” … do not be fooled, my friend.
my kids sweetly playing imaginary games together. oh wait, no, just watching some t.v. and completely unengaged.
what’s this? a pile of dirty clothes? oh no, those are clean. i think. and we aren’t going on a trip. those suitcases have been there for 2 weeks. empty.
look at her healthy kid eating a carrot!! what a great mom!
oh wait. carrot dipped in frosting. not so great.