they say it. they all say it. the clerk at the grocery store, the waiter at the restaurant, the older woman in line behind me. they say it flies by. time. it flies by. that say it feels like just yesterday they were bringing their little babies home from the hospital and now they are expecting their 8th grandchild. long ago are the days of diapers, car seats and naps. i hear it and i know it, but as the river of time sweeps by, i can’t help that some days feel like an eternity.
random, but i wash my floors with my feet. i use clorox bleach wipes and stick them under each foot and skate across my kitchen floor. does anyone else in the world do this? i think it is effective, truthfully, i do! i hate mopping and to me, this works just as well. as i was cleaning the floors, i felt the drudgery of repetition, like everyday i do the same thing. and then again the next day. and this feeling of wanting my life to progress and move into the next season weighs on me. some days the dishes never seem to end: loading, unloading, drying, putting away. it’s like someone took the batteries out of the clock and i am stuck in the awful hour of 3:00… naps are done, with no energy to pack the kids into the car, and sam doesn’t get home for another two hours. 3:00 is always a dark hour in my household. it’s hard not to wish these days away…. i want to get to more of the good stuff like school, driving, dating, graduation, and weddings.
and as we were watching toy story 3 last night the aches in my heart squeezed out a few salty tears. (the part when andy is about to leave for college and his mom stands in his empty room). i hauled manoah’s nearly 40lbs onto my lap and held him tightly. i wanted to hold him forever. so maybe i’m not ready for him to leave for college or get married, just wondering how to enjoy the mundane moments in my life. the normal. the everyday. i am yearning to see life as a series of beautiful moments like beads strung to long necklace, each one connected to the next. that life lived in the fullness of moments is life fully lived.
“time is a relentless river. it rages on, a respecter to no one…when i fully enter time’s swift current, enter into the current moment with the weight of all my attention, i slow the torrent with the weight of me all here….i only live the full life when i live fully in the moment. and when i’m always looking for the next glimpse of glory.” – ann voskamp.
that is it. finding glimpses into glory. lifting the veil in everyday moments only to find the hand of God beneath.
(cucumbers and silly faces)
(notice the band-aids)
(anticipating daddy’s arrival)
(does this one really need a caption? one of the best moments in my day. just me and this catalog)
to prove my point even further: i hit a non-moving object that i drive by at least twice a day and sliced my finger while cutting onions. see what happens when you don’t pay attention to the seemingly mundane. painful reminders.